Weeping (often and unknown)

It would seem fitting that the newest soundtrack of my life would be "Say I am You" by the husband/wife duo The Weepies.  I readily admit my interest in music is so outdated, and so behind.  I could care less about knowing the newest "it" bands, the newest "unknown" bands (and then abandoning said bands because they become too "it").  I just decided one day to listen to their MySpace stuff, fell in love, and play their songs nearly all day every day because that's how I operate with a lot of my favorite music.  All this to say that "The Weepies" make me weepy.  Or maybe I was weepy to begin with and they just seal the deal.  

I've been frequenting Barnes & Noble on a regular basis.  I don't know if it is a good thing that it is located in the same outdoor lifestyle center (a stupid name for "fancy mall") where I work at Talbots, but I take it as so.  This frequenting has led to my finishing a book that I only read because my dearest friend, Lissa Joy Fecht, told me that I had to read it.  This is the same friend who told me I had to read Sex God by Rob Bell (despite my resistance of hopping on that theological band wagon--I may run alongside it, now, but I still refuse to hop on).  Anyway, the book is called Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist.  While I wouldn't have picked it out for myself, I am grateful that I did read it.  The whole thing.  And I didn't buy it (is that bad?  I figure B&N owes it to me for purchasing so many toffee nut frappucinos over the past six years).  

I am grateful because Shauna wrote with honesty--even when it sometimes felt stilted or vague, she was still honest.  She was honest about life, about Christianity, about rebelling and returning to a Creator who she readily acknowledges for her ability to write.  And I couldn't help but cry through several chapters; not because they were particularly poignant, but because they made me think beyond her prose, digging into my own past and pulling up weeds that I, too, should be writing about.  If anything, Shauna inspired me to keep plugging away at my book, a relatively silent endeavor since finishing college.  An endeavor eagerly awaiting a weighted heart and life filled with lessons others can learn from.  

So I've been weepy.  And listening to The Weepies.  And writing--slowly.  I need to change my lifestyle--I know I do.  I need to drink in these words like an alcoholic would wine, and I need to know that whatever comes out will actually satisfy and hopefully leave me yearning for more.

blessings,

liz